Caring for Liz with Dementia
Caring for Liz with Dementia
A personal journey by Stuart
I am writing this with the aim of being helpful for you, if you are in a similar position to the one I was in, caring for the person you love with dementia. I think I am also writing this for me, as a way of coping with my grief after my wife, Liz, passed away. I have no professional expertise as a carer, just lived experience. I have not used ChatGPT, it is just my thoughts and words. I started writing some of it while I was still caring for Liz, so the writing is a mixture of both past and present tense.
I am sharing what I experienced and learned caring for Liz. I have focussed on practical content with things like:
- How I managed the transition from partner to carer.
- My approach to managing difficult behaviours.
- How I coped with the emotional impact on me.
- The types of support I needed at different stages
- How I cared for Liz as her needs changed over time.
- Showering (Sorry! No easy answers for this one)
- The transition to Aged Care,
- Coping after Liz passed away, and
- What I stuffed up.
A lot of what I have written may not be relevant for you but hopefully not all of it. My goal is to write at least one thing in this that is helpful for you. Your challenge is to find it.
Background
Just a bit of info to put things in context. My name is Stuart and Liz and I have been together for 47 years and married for 42 years. We have 3 adult children, with 2 of them living interstate. We are in our 60's, retired, financially secure and our relationship was very strong. Liz was diagnosed with Younger Onset Alzheimer's in her early 60's. Alzheimer's is the most common form of Dementia.
I have broken the information into the following sections, so you can skip through if you like, to the stage of Dementia that seems most important for you. Also, we live in Australia so the government services I mention are only relevant for this country.
Just so you know, the information is based on my personal experience as a carer and not professional advice. The content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. You can view the Website and Professional disclaimer Here.
📖 Table of Contents
Click any section below to read it. Each section is a separate page so it loads quickly.
| Section | What's covered |
| 🔍 1. Diagnosis | Difficulty getting a diagnosis. Telling family and friends and their response. Grief starts. Practical actions taken. |
| 🌱 2. Early Years | Important things to learn. The carer commitment required. Mistakes I made. Relationship adjustments. Things to watch out for. What helped. Maintaining friendships. NDIS. Consent and Dementia. |
| 🌤️ 3. Middle Years | Being on Liz's 'side'. Dressing Liz. The power of a hug. Simplifying everything. What I stuffed up again. Anticipating problems. Managing your 'Hot Buttons'. Trying to buy a bra lol. Entertainment. How I felt gradually losing Liz. |
| 🏠 4. Final Year at Home | A very difficult medication transition. Conflict increasing. Difficulty finding an Aged Care home. Showering strategies. Liz wants to go home dilemma. Sex and intimacy. Liz in pain and in hospital with cancer. |
| 🏥 5. Moving into Aged Care | The transition to Aged Care. What we put in her room. Continuing my caring role. Managing my emotions over the years and what helped. |
| 🕊️ 6. Liz Passing Away | Practical information. The impact on me. Managing my grief. Adjusting not moving on. |
| 💭 7. A Final Thought | I guess love grows over time. |
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